It is with great vigour, excitement, and simulated frisson that I announce the start of the start of my run for the leadership of the Manitoba Liberal Party.
I am the perfect candidate. Smart, but not too smart. Attractive, but not too attractive. Rich, but not… well, not rich at all, really.
There is no reason why we can’t have a province to be proud of, where solutions are actually based on rational thought and discussion rather than talking points and partisan orthodoxy.
You know, I used to run around saying that the NDP in Manitoba were ethically bankrupt. Now, thanks to so many years of NDP “leadership” I can say that the bankruptcy has spread to cover every aspect of the NDP in our province, like the ever-reaching tentacles of our dark lord Cthulhu.
So in order to take back our province, I need to raise $2,500 and gather a hundred signatures with ten signatures each from at least six regions.
So I’m basically unstoppable. Like Cthulhu.